Broken or Broken Open

I found myself mesmerized while listening to a Katie Couric podcast featuring David Brooks. That guy shared some serious pearls of wisdom. I listened to the podcast multiple times, took notes, and bought his book. If you get a chance, I highly recommend the episode (and the book).

Mr. Brooks’ discussion of “broken or broken open” intrigued me. We have all been sad or disappointed: didn’t get the job, failed a test, got a bad haircut. And then there are those moments in life when the death of a loved one, a relationship ending, a catastrophic event, or a health crisis brought us to our knees. Those times when devastating heartache and gut-wrenching pain either broke us or broke us open.

When it comes to being broken or broken open, there doesn’t seem to be a predictable formula for one or the other. There are people who become broken and never recover. Others seem consumed with a sorrow and regret that is almost palpable.

I’ve known many people who were broken by life events. People who could have unequivocally and understandably stayed broken forever. What I find so very intriguing is that those very people, the people who have every reason to remain broken, are often broken open in a way that is almost sacred. Somehow, and against all odds, they find a way to move forward with grace. I am in awe of my family members, friends, and clients who found their way to a meaningful life that includes happiness and joy alongside their grief and loss.

I wish I knew their secret. Is it faith, resilience, superhuman strength? It’s not like they didn’t have a choice because they did; they could have chosen to remain broken forever. Instead, they were broken open and allowed time and memories to assuage their pain. I am humbled by those who chose to thrive in spite of it all. It is a privilege to know you!