HAIR, THERE, AND EVERYWHERE

I have a friend who has the most beautiful hair; her hair is thick, curly, and coveted by all. She won the jackpot when hair was being bestowed by the Giver of Hair. I, on the other hand, must have been in the elbow line and ended up with the hair no one else wanted.

It’s not that I don’t have hair, it’s just that it has always been fine, thin, and straight. I’ve spent my children’s inheritance on hair products. My hairdresser and I have a deep and meaningful relationship; she gets me and my hair. Suffice it to say, no one ever wished they had my hair.

What’s been astonishing is the new crop of thick, curly hair I find other places. If only the hair on my head would grow like the hair on my chin! Each day, a new harvest of wiry, stubborn embellishments appears for the tweezing. I swear, one minute my chin is as smooth as butta, the next minute I look like Colonel Sanders.

A few years ago, I spent some time in the Big House (aka hospital). I was blessed to have family and friends there 24/7 to make sure things went as planned. What didn’t go as planned was their failure to attend to my chin hair. I am absolutely, positively sure we had a pact that we would always be there for each other and our chin hair. When I got home and looked in the mirror, I had a full beard. When said family and friends were reminded of our pledge, this was their reply, “Ya know, we were just trying to keep you alive. Your chin hair was the least of our worries.”

My advice: Appoint someone who doesn’t love you to be in charge of your chin hair.