It Is What It Is

I’ve chosen my word for 2023: Acceptance.

Acceptance will be a challenge for me. There are so many things I wish would change; there are many things I want to change; and there are a few things that may never change. Despite my best efforts, I’ve come to realize acceptance is often the limit of my ability to affect change.

“Not my circus, not my monkeys” only takes you so far when it comes to people or situations where injustice prevails. Discrimination, healthcare, poverty, addiction – the list seems endless. Acceptance doesn’t mean one is blind to the dysfunction, it just respects and honors that, other than acceptance, there is little-to-nothing that can be done to influence a system, person, or circumstances that cannot or will not change. Recognition of that fact has been a hard-fought battle for me.

Acceptance is not complacency. Where there is an opportunity to make a difference, I want to do so. When I can help or encourage, I will. And, as a friend reminded me this week, rather than, “When all else fails, pray,” I will pray first, then accept.

Acceptance feels calming. Acceptance feels liberating. Acceptance feels healthy. After all, I am a firm believer that no one knows what’s best for another human being, even if it seems painfully obvious to a gazillion other people. To take away someone’s autonomy is to take away their personhood.

Sometimes life can feel like watching a train wreck about to happen. Although the passengers may have been forewarned about the danger, it’s still their decision to disembark or keep on rolling. Acceptance acknowledges that, unless you are driving the train, what unfolds is almost always out of your control.

I plan to spend the next 365 days reciting the Serenity Prayer on the daily. I hope to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. It may be a very long year.

What’s your word?