Mother’s Day Take II

Unless you’ve been living under a rock or on a deserted island, you know Sunday is Mother’s Day. For some, it is a day to honor and lavish our mothers. For others, it is one of the most dreaded days of the year.

Motherless Daughters is a book by Hope Edelman. It’s a book I frequently recommend to grieving daughters of all ages. I like the content, but I am not a fan of the title.

Can you ever really be a motherless daughter? Maybe your mom was more Moira Rose than Rebecca Pearson. Maybe your mom has dementia and you lost her while she’s still here. Maybe a grandmother, special aunt, or friend stepped in as a surrogate mother. Even if your mom has died, you are still a daughter.

I’ve learned mothers come in all shapes and sizes. Some mothers are ‘family by chance’ and some are ‘family by choice.’ Some make us better and some make us bitter, it’s really kind of a crap shoot. I’ve also learned there are myriad ways to find the love and support we all need, regardless of who bestows it.

Hallmark wants us to think we have one day a year to honor our mothers. I call b.s. on that. Being the best you, every day, honors your mother. Mentoring young men and women honors your mother. Dressing your littles in gingham dresses honors her too. Checking in once a week by phone or in person is an honor many covet. No one knows a mother like her children, so maybe spend some time thinking about how to best honor her while you have the chance.

And for those whose child has died, or mothers estranged from their children, you are still their mother. For those of you missing your mother, or those who can’t or don’t have children, be kind to yourself this weekend…Monday is right around the corner.