Please Don’t Should On Yourself

Should – now there’s a word that feels like a ton of bricks just landed on your shoulders. Should, and its evil step-sisters should not and should have get my vote for elimination from Webster’s next revision. I mean, really, who needs that kind of pressure?

I once went to a patient’s home who had this reminder stenciled on all four walls in her living room:  

Today, I will not should on myself.

The should word reminds me of the other sh word. Why do we do that to ourselves? Why can’t we just want to exercise, wish to spend more time with loved ones, plan to be more productive? Why do we use the most guilt-inducing term imaginable rather than a kinder, gentler version of a wish or desire? Why do we speak so harshly to ourselves when we wouldn’t speak like that to anyone else? Trust me, there are plenty of others who will gladly remind us of our faults and failings. Make sure you aren’t jumping on the shame/blame train – the price of admission is highly inflated.

Today, try not to should on yourself.