Deserve

Recently, I read something that has stayed with me for weeks. An author explained that ‘mercy is when you don’t get what you deserve; grace is when you get what you don’t deserve.’ Mind blown.

I’m not sure why the sentence had such a profound impact on me. I’ve never contemplated the definition of either of those words. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever even noticed them. Yet, as is so often the case, the words mercy and grace have appeared repeatedly in articles and books I’ve been reading lately.

There is an Everything Happens podcast I’ve listened to on repeat for the past year. Bryan Stephenson was the guest, and he shared his experience as a lawyer dedicated to restoring justice and redemption to people (usually poor, Black individuals) who have been unjustly imprisoned for crimes they did not commit. Way back in 2019, I watched Just Mercy, a movie about Bryan and his Equal Justice Initiative. A few weeks ago, I found his book, Just Mercy, at Goodwill. Whenever I get nudges from 3 different sources, I take it as a sign to pay attention.

I associate the word grace with prayers before meals, and my great-niece. I’ve also heard people say things like, “EGR” aka Extra Grace Required, when referring to someone who is difficult or demanding. Again, not a word I’ve ever spent time contemplating.

What struck me about the sentence, and has stayed with me for weeks, is the word deserve. That word feels like a loaded gun. The Oxford dictionary defines deserve as, “To do something or have or show qualities worthy of reward or punishment.” What the definition doesn’t explain is who gets to decide who or what deserves mercy and grace? The things that make you go, “Hmmmm.”